AGH!!

It is all my fault that I have done so horrible these last 2 days with eating and everything else. I have gained weight and it is no surprise to me that I did. Friday I had pumpkin pie at bed time Saturday I had pumpkin pie for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch and pizza for supper. Ummmm, can you say disaster?? I am struggling with the temptation of food. We have tons of candy in the house right now. We don't celebrate Halloween and yet my family still seems to think the kids need candy. Well, when there is candy, the kids aren't the only ones eating it. I would feel really bad just throwing it out and I don't want to tell my kids to just eat whatever they want whenever they want. I want to teach them the eating habits that I don't have, like self control when it comes to sweets. I need some sort of discipline. I want to lose this weight so bad!! I don't know why I continue to sabotage my efforts. It is almost as if I feel like I don't deserve to. I don't necessarily feel that way, but I don't understand why I continue to do the things I do. I will continue to pray for strength and self control in this area.

Also, my laundry still isn't done. Thursday night I didn't sleep very well, so Friday I was exhausted. I worked on picking up and making pumpkin pie with Mallory in the morning and in the afternoon I cleaned the bathroom and swept the kitchen floor and tried to take a nap but it was only 15min and I needed 2 hours. But none the less it was a nap. I will work on some today, but I don't think it will be finished today. We are going to church this morning with my dad and I am not sure if we will be home this afternoon.

Mission for today: To stand strong in the face of temptation (food), and to work on some laundry even if it is only one load.

For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every long suffering with joy. Colossians 1:9-10

Perseverance

James 1:2-6 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing you your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

I knew I was supposed to read James this morning, but I didn't expect the first few verses to speak to me so loudly. James is probably my favorite book of the bible next to Matthew. I have read it many, many times and yet it still speaks loud and clear. Testing my faith develops perseverance. I never thought about it like that before. I guess there are many areas that I feel like my faith has been tested and yet I don't feel like I have developed the perseverance that I need just to accomplish the simple goals. So, maybe I need to take this matter up with my Father and ask him what I am or am not doing and for him to give me wisdom for all circumstances.

Speaking of perseverance, I did mop the kitchen and vacuum the living room yesterday like I planned!! But eating less didn't happen, at least at supper time. I stuffed myself with lasagna and paid for it all night long with heartburn and then this morning weighed in at 196.4. Even though it was the best lasagna in the world, it wasn't worth the pain....maybe I should remember this for next time. You know, like learn a lesson from it.

Goal for today: Finish laundry, clean the basement, and not stuff myself with leftovers.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Thankfulness

So then, just as you received Jesus Christ as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6

Those last 3 words really spoke to me this morning. I have a hard time being thankful when I am not getting my own way. The saying count your blessings.....well, I sometimes forget to count mine. Instead of complaining about doing laundry I need to be thankful that we have clothes. And instead of complaining about mopping the floor, I need to be thankful we have a home. This passage shows me how much of a spoiled brat I am. I pray that God helps me find joy in the things I think of as less than fun. I don't want to be an ungrateful brat, I want to be a humble servant who is overflowing with thankfulness.

So....I guess with all of that I should have no excuses for not completing what needs to be done, like, vacuuming the living room and mopping the kitchen. I continue to put them off for another time that I feel is more convenient. Well, what is convenience? I am just using it as another excuse to be lazy. Sometimes I disgust myself. The only think I can do to feel better is change. Which is the purpose of this blog, to keep me accountable to the changes I want in my life.

Mission for today: Be thankful in the things that I find annoying, Eat healthy (I am down again today 195.0lbs), AND MOP THE KITCHEN vacuum the living room and work on laundry without complaint.

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Cookies, Cookies, Cookies!

Sooooo, yesterday didn't go so well with cutting back. I did fine with the water and great with meals, but it was the in between snacks that got me. We had cookies here. They were left over from a gathering and we had lots of them. Then, I also had to make cut out cookies for my son's class because they are having a fall festival and need cookies to decorate. Needless to say, I gave in to temptation, more than once. They were good, but not worth the extra sugar nor the extra .6lbs. Yep, that's right I gained weight. I am 196.2. NOT good!!!



I did however get the kitchen cleaned, all except the floor. I was waiting to finish the cut out cookies before I mopped, but by the time they were done and dishes were done, it was going on 9:00 and I was tired.



Mission for today: Finish the kitchen (mop the floor) work on laundry and vacuum the living room, and STAY AWAY from cookies and other sweets. I don't want to deny myself completely because that is always disastrous, but I don't need to eat more than one and I don't need one everyday, so none for today.



Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13

Idleness

So, this morning I woke up a little earlier than I intended, but that is OK. I was able to read 2 Thessalonians and now I am on here typing before any children are up or here. When I stepped on the scale this morning I was a little surprised when it read 195.6. I did nothing yesterday to lose weight, but I had somehow. That is a great surprise!

Now, my second piece of laundry would be idleness, or laziness and sometimes just procrastination. I am tired a lot of the time probably because I am over weight and am not active enough along with long days with lots of children. But, those are not excuses for not doing my work and I need to stop using them as such. I will now try to do a little bit everyday, so that I am not overwhelmed when my house is a complete disaster and get frustrated when no one helps me clean it up.

Mission for today: Clean the Kitchen; the counters, dishes (luckily there aren't too many of those), the floor -I hate mopping, the fridge, and the cupboard where the toaster is stored....there are a few crumbs on the shelve and that is also where I keep my lids which I have way too many of since only about half have a container that they belong to. Also to increase my water intake and decrease my portion size.

2 Thessalonians 2:10, 13 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: If a man will not work, he shall not eat..... And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

Why?

About a month ago, while I was in prayer, I heard the lord speak to me on hanging out my laundry. I didn't understand it right then, but over the next few days I began to realize what I was to do. What does it mean to hang out your laundry? Well, for me it means taking a chance that my neighbors and every diner at McDonald's just might see my unmentionables. I live in town and can easily see McDonald's from my back yard as well as see my back yard from McDonald's. I feel like God was telling me to lay everything out in the open even the most secret parts of me, the parts that I don't want everyone to know about.

This also means that I have to pay attention to the weather. If it rains, it will be pointless to hang out the laundry because it won't dry. If it is freezing outside the clothes won't dry, they will become flat ice cubes. It will also take longer for the clothes to dry if the weather is cool as opposed to warm. So, I also need to be cautious of when I put myself out there, but none the less I need to do it. For me this is a little hard. I am the type of person that I try many things and when they become hard I give up. I very seldom finish what I start. So I guess this blog is a type of accountability for me.

Ok, the first piece of laundry I will hang out is my struggle with my weight. I weigh approximently 197 lbs. I was 120 lbs 7 years ago when I got married. Then, two months after the wedding I got pregnant with my son and it all went down hill from there. Now here I am struggling with food.

I love food!! But, I find it loves me a little too much and wants to stick around, so I am going to set a goal today. I will give myself one year to lose 67 lbs. I believe that is reasonable and I would love to see 120 again, but I think 130 is probably more realistic. Not only do I want to look good in a pair of jeans, I want to be healthy. I am at risk for diabetes since I had gestational diabetes with both of my pregnancies. Other than that I believe I am healthy in all other areas. I will probably go to my Dr. to make sure and discuss what sort of action I should take. But for now I will be cutting down portions and drinking more water. We will see how that goes!

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13