Freedom!

Galatians 5:1,16 It is for Freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

God had me in Galatians this morning. I believe He was trying to show me the yoke of slavery that I have to my sinful nature. I have been living a compromised life because I am too afraid to stand up to truth and because I want to please my flesh. I need to let go of the yoke of slavery that binds me to the subtle sins in my life. There are thing that I didn't even realize I did that would be a compromise from the life of freedom that Christ has for me. Like over indulging in movies and books and then, getting angry when I am interrupted from them for the 20th time. Books and movies are OK, but when it becomes consuming and keeps you from the things God has placed before you to do, it becomes a distraction and in my personal opinion a sin because you are being disobedient to God. I know that I am not perfect, but I need to go after righteousness with everything I have for it is God's will. And what does that say to non believers when they see me profess Christ as lord and then I act as the world does? Wouldn't I be a hypocrite? I already get angry with Christians that have the obvious sins of living differently 6 days of the week and on the 7 go to church and put on a fake identity, but sin is sin and disobedience is sin. I am no better than them. If Christ is truly my lord then, I need to obey Him as such without complaint. His commandment to us is to love God with all of our hearts, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. No where in that did he say to put yourself above another. Why do I continue to do so? Sometimes I don't understand myself. I believe these words to be truth with everything that I am and yet I don't obey. I need to be living out what I believe not just stating it. I also need to be conscious of it when I am in the midst of it, so that I can stop and turn from it, not just talk about it, but do it. I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Lord, help me!! I can not do this on my own. I want people to see Christ through me, through my actions and my life, not just me being a good person. I want them to see that I am different and the difference is God who lives within me.

Sorry for the lengthy sermon, I am just hanging out another piece of raggedy laundry, one that is very hard for me to let people see.

Weight watchers is going good. It has been one week and I have lost 5.6lbs. I hope to lose another 5 this week too and after that I know it will not be as much. The house is also in great shape thanks to my family we all put in a hour and cleaned all of the bedrooms and living room, and Jason did the dishes that were piling up.

Mission for today: Recognize the sin when it is happening and turn from it, clean the bathroom and work on laundry.

Me, Myself, and I

Sometimes I disgust myself. You see, I am very selfish. I have realized that laziness is also a form of selfishness. Along with always wanting my own way and throwing an adult temper tantrum if I don't get it. I get grouchy and bitter and then no one wants to be around me. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be around me either. I am glad that I can see it, now, I need to change it. I know that I need to put others ahead of my own self. I think it will be a long process. Being a humble servant is one of my desires, but I need to start walking it out. I want to serve people out of love without complaint, you know, even go the extra mile. I believe that it starts with my thoughts and attitude. Today I will choose others over myself with a happy heart.

Weight Watchers went well yesterday. And there are 25 words focusing on myself in the above paragraph. Wow, that is a lot!

Mission for today: Choose others first, continue with my weight loss goal, and have the house looking peaceful (picked up) by the time Jason gets home.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

AHHH!!

I had the best day yesterday. Went to church with my dad and step mom in the morning, was home before noon, picked up and vacuumed the entire house with in 45 min, took a nap while the kids watched a movie, made supper, played games, read books, worked on laundry, and still spent time with Jason. It was such a refreshing day, one that I haven't had in a very long time.

My next piece of laundry that needs to be hung out is the fact that I feel stagnant with where I am spiritually. This blog has gotten me back into the word daily because I don't just read verses to post, I read the entire book. But, I am feeling the tug to really start ministering to the mom's that I babysit for again. I have attempted this in the past and failed, but I believe the reason was a pure heart motive, I don't think I was actually listening or learning from my Father. God has been speaking to me very loudly the last week about just being a light, not forcing anything, but being there to listen mostly and give Godly wisdom when needed. I was having coffee with one of the moms a while ago and stopped, I don't know why. I miss hanging out with her and miss our coffee times. I also need to initiate it. That is one area that I sometimes have a hard time in. I don't like to initiate. It is time for me to get over it, and put on my big girl panties, and do what I know I must do.

One place I didn't want to go is the dreaded D word. That is right diet. I think I need to go there at least to get myself established in a routine of watching what goes into my mouth. I hated the whole tracking points thing, but it worked and once I got used to it, it wasn't hard. So, it is back to weight watchers I go. I will keep you updated with how things are going with it.

Mission for today: Set up a coffee time with my friend, finish the laundry, seek God's will and direction for my life where I am today.

1 Timothy 4:8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

AGH!!

It is all my fault that I have done so horrible these last 2 days with eating and everything else. I have gained weight and it is no surprise to me that I did. Friday I had pumpkin pie at bed time Saturday I had pumpkin pie for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch and pizza for supper. Ummmm, can you say disaster?? I am struggling with the temptation of food. We have tons of candy in the house right now. We don't celebrate Halloween and yet my family still seems to think the kids need candy. Well, when there is candy, the kids aren't the only ones eating it. I would feel really bad just throwing it out and I don't want to tell my kids to just eat whatever they want whenever they want. I want to teach them the eating habits that I don't have, like self control when it comes to sweets. I need some sort of discipline. I want to lose this weight so bad!! I don't know why I continue to sabotage my efforts. It is almost as if I feel like I don't deserve to. I don't necessarily feel that way, but I don't understand why I continue to do the things I do. I will continue to pray for strength and self control in this area.

Also, my laundry still isn't done. Thursday night I didn't sleep very well, so Friday I was exhausted. I worked on picking up and making pumpkin pie with Mallory in the morning and in the afternoon I cleaned the bathroom and swept the kitchen floor and tried to take a nap but it was only 15min and I needed 2 hours. But none the less it was a nap. I will work on some today, but I don't think it will be finished today. We are going to church this morning with my dad and I am not sure if we will be home this afternoon.

Mission for today: To stand strong in the face of temptation (food), and to work on some laundry even if it is only one load.

For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every long suffering with joy. Colossians 1:9-10

Perseverance

James 1:2-6 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing you your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

I knew I was supposed to read James this morning, but I didn't expect the first few verses to speak to me so loudly. James is probably my favorite book of the bible next to Matthew. I have read it many, many times and yet it still speaks loud and clear. Testing my faith develops perseverance. I never thought about it like that before. I guess there are many areas that I feel like my faith has been tested and yet I don't feel like I have developed the perseverance that I need just to accomplish the simple goals. So, maybe I need to take this matter up with my Father and ask him what I am or am not doing and for him to give me wisdom for all circumstances.

Speaking of perseverance, I did mop the kitchen and vacuum the living room yesterday like I planned!! But eating less didn't happen, at least at supper time. I stuffed myself with lasagna and paid for it all night long with heartburn and then this morning weighed in at 196.4. Even though it was the best lasagna in the world, it wasn't worth the pain....maybe I should remember this for next time. You know, like learn a lesson from it.

Goal for today: Finish laundry, clean the basement, and not stuff myself with leftovers.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Thankfulness

So then, just as you received Jesus Christ as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6

Those last 3 words really spoke to me this morning. I have a hard time being thankful when I am not getting my own way. The saying count your blessings.....well, I sometimes forget to count mine. Instead of complaining about doing laundry I need to be thankful that we have clothes. And instead of complaining about mopping the floor, I need to be thankful we have a home. This passage shows me how much of a spoiled brat I am. I pray that God helps me find joy in the things I think of as less than fun. I don't want to be an ungrateful brat, I want to be a humble servant who is overflowing with thankfulness.

So....I guess with all of that I should have no excuses for not completing what needs to be done, like, vacuuming the living room and mopping the kitchen. I continue to put them off for another time that I feel is more convenient. Well, what is convenience? I am just using it as another excuse to be lazy. Sometimes I disgust myself. The only think I can do to feel better is change. Which is the purpose of this blog, to keep me accountable to the changes I want in my life.

Mission for today: Be thankful in the things that I find annoying, Eat healthy (I am down again today 195.0lbs), AND MOP THE KITCHEN vacuum the living room and work on laundry without complaint.

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Cookies, Cookies, Cookies!

Sooooo, yesterday didn't go so well with cutting back. I did fine with the water and great with meals, but it was the in between snacks that got me. We had cookies here. They were left over from a gathering and we had lots of them. Then, I also had to make cut out cookies for my son's class because they are having a fall festival and need cookies to decorate. Needless to say, I gave in to temptation, more than once. They were good, but not worth the extra sugar nor the extra .6lbs. Yep, that's right I gained weight. I am 196.2. NOT good!!!



I did however get the kitchen cleaned, all except the floor. I was waiting to finish the cut out cookies before I mopped, but by the time they were done and dishes were done, it was going on 9:00 and I was tired.



Mission for today: Finish the kitchen (mop the floor) work on laundry and vacuum the living room, and STAY AWAY from cookies and other sweets. I don't want to deny myself completely because that is always disastrous, but I don't need to eat more than one and I don't need one everyday, so none for today.



Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13